I think my life should be turned into a TV show…

June 7, 2007 at 5:35 am (angst, friends, life, love, Relationships, teenage hormones, teenagers)

No really, and not just any TV show but like one of the melodramatic teenage ones that they show on The N or whatever the hell that network is.


But no really.

I’ve been feeling sorta emo lately and it’s mostly because of boy. Ohhhh the things I could say about boy. Just when I think I’m over him, the world decides I’m not and everything comes crashing back down on my head like a gigantic tidal wave of teenage hormones and crushed hopes.

 I said I was feeling emo! Believe me now? I bet you do.

ANYWAY, I went to a grad party today and Boy was there. We sorta talked for awhile, but I mostly talked to his best friend, Liam (Who happens to be a good friend of mine as well). After awhile we both moved on to diffrent places in the back yard and I was able to make myself look less despondent. Or at least less like I was pining. Which I was. I won’t lie…there’s no point. So later on I ended up chilling on a hamock, which was huge and REALLY comfortable, with Erika. All was fine til boy and Liam came over and sat down. and by sat…I don’t really mean sat it was more like lie because who can really sit in a hamock?

ANYWAY there we were the four of us on this hamock, with me squished between Liam and boy. I mean I was on top of boy for like 15 minuets and it made me think of things that I COULD have had but can’t because…well the timing of life sucks.

All in all we just goofed off for a bit, he laughed at my story about how I ate crayons once when I was little (Which he said explained alot, hahaha) , and swore to me that my eyes have changed colors all this year.  Which strikes me as odd. Liam was like “You’re eyes are BLUE?!” and I was like…”Duh?” and then Liam swore to me that they were green awhile back, and Brown at the beggining of the year. Which boy backed up.

Why am I telling you this?? Dunno. *Sigh* ANYWAY!!!

Dave then came over and they tried to make room for him even though I highly dislike him for the most part, and Boy and Liam pulled me up higher on the Hamock so my shoulder was underneath Boys head.

And it was really comfortable.

God we fit so freakin well together, I mean I just feel RIGHT with him you know. and its AWFUL because I won’t see him again for a REALLY REALLY LONG TIME. S0 a relationship of any kind is OUT OF THE QUESTION.

Let me go back a bit, Boy and I got to know each other at the beggining of the year since we were both in theatre. He was in a show with me in January (Arsenic and Old Lace) and, according to Liam, he’s liked me ever since. I had a conversation with Boy a couple of weeks ago where he said he would have asked me out then but another girl had asked him to the Valentines day dance. So it never happened. And then he broke up with that other girl and we’ve been talking circles around each other ever since.

and it sucks.

Because we could have been together since January but neither of us said a friken word, and now its GONE. Because he leaves in two days for camp, and when he gets back from that camp he leaves for ANOTHER camp. Essentially he’s GONE until AFTER I leave for college.

*sigh* I hate life.

It makes me want to cry, I hate this feeling of what could have been. My advice for you is to take you’re chances and always SAY SOMETHING.

I wouldn’t be here now if I had. And it sucks.

wow I’ve rambled on alot.

Tp make things a bit more complicated, I think that sice I’ve been tryinging to get over boy, I’ve switched my feelings over to Liam.

Which may or may not be a bad thing.

I hate people…

but!! Good news I’M 19 NOW!! WOOOOOOO!!!!

I’ll post again later. Night all!!


Permalink Leave a Comment