I’m feeling…despondent…

June 15, 2007 at 3:05 am (Boys, despondent, feelings, friends, gay, life, love, Relationships, teenagers)

SO, I just went over to boys house to hang out with his sister Isabel.  Which was cool, because I love Isabel…but it felt wrong somehow.

 She doesn’t know about the whole thing with her brother, unless he were to have told her…which I don’t think he did. But I mean it felt odd to be watching a movie at his house because I know that had I said something (Or had HE said something I’m not ENTIRELY at fault here) then I could have been watching movies at his house for months! But NOOOOOO he has to be to shy…and I’m just plain STUPID.

Damn-it.

I hate boys.

Why can’t I get him out of my head. I think about him ALL the time. Well not ALL the time, thoughts of him don’t RULE my life or anything, but still. Its annoying.

You know what else annoys me? The thought that I’m the only one struggling with this. I mean do I make HIM despondent? Probably not. Although if I learned that I DID make him despondent I would be INCREDIBLY happy.

which is sad.

*Sigh*

You wanna hear something awkward? My gay guy friend has a crush on my straight guy friend…and I don’t know what to do about it.

Hurmph.

I hate boys.

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