May 30, 2008 at 7:41 pm (Actors, life, teenagers) (, , , )

So i just got a job in child care! WOOO! It only pays $7 an hour but whatever, but its all good. Money rocks so I’ll take what I can get. My dad wants me to pick up a second job, buuuuut we’ll see. It depends how many hours I get on this one.

I’m supposed to be keeping a journal…hasn’t happened yet. Oops…ha…I’m such a slacker. But only when it comes to journals.

I watched a play the other day that made me realize what I was doing wrong in my acting, hopefully I’ll be able to be better next year! SEE I OBSERVED DAMN IT! I DID WHAT YOU ASKED! You know who you are…

On a side note: I’m now obsessed with Evil Dead the Musical…it makes me wish I could sing…just a little bit. Seriously the songs are incredibly catchy for being based off of a B movie from the 80’s. WOO Bruce Campbell. I bow to your superior awesome-ness.

…on another random note…we should seriously hop on this Zombie movie guys. I have a camera. We could seriously just run around in the woods and scream alot. And run chest first like that chick in Evil Dead (And almost ever horror movie ever made) who gets violated by the tree. Thats something you should never do when running from…well…anything really. Don’t run chest first. It’ll throw off your balance. And then you’ll get violated by possessed evil trees. Or an axe murderer.

Or you’ll just fall on your face, either way. Not fun.

Later yo’s!


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I really need to keep up with this…

May 11, 2008 at 5:27 pm (life) (, )


Long time no write huh? Yeah. That’s my fault (Duh) I need to keep on top of this I really really do.

Things I’ve realized this week:

1. I’m shit with improv. I really, I have a brain block sometimes I think.

2. Anything sexual makes me instantaneously uncomfortable. How awesome is that. I’m SO sheltered, and I’ve been through a whole year of college. I’m almost 20 for gods sake.  I’m not saying I need to go sleep around, but jesus  I shouldn’t want to blush and cover my ears any time someone says the word sex. I don’t even like typing it. Sex. Sex sex sex sex sex. Sex. (You know, the more I type that the more I start to think thats not actually a real word…its just, a bizarre word…really)

Okay, well…I’m over the typing thing I guess.

*head desk*

Goals for this summer:

1. Get a job

2. keep a journal

3. Observe people (Twas given this direction by an acting teacher)

4. Be a more open person

5. Not be so god damn awkward

6. Learn how to stop cursing in front of my dad. He rather dislikes cursing. I got yelled at because I said the word Damn the other day. And Sean wasn’t even in the room, there were NO small children about whatsoever. So…the cursing stops here…

7. GET A DAMN JOB. I need money!

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February 16, 2008 at 4:11 am (Uncategorized) (, , , )

So, I’ve been sleeping like ALL DAY…and I realize that I sort of need to do something. So, I pull out my computer and try to write a chapter for Angels She has Heard on High, my story, only I can’t. *sigh*

Like my Brain is DEAD! DEAD I TELL YOU! Or my muse just won’t wake up, maybe he’s asleep still. *kicks muse*  WAKE UP DAMN YOU!!!

Then again, maybe its not my muse because I can’t seem to write my English paper either. Although thats because I hate my English class. I should really attempt to start that paper, buuuuuuut I don’t want to. At all. I’m supposed to be writing about family Photo’s its not working for me. I guess I could write about how families have changed over the years, but like its not really a topic that speaks to me.  My family for one is pretty normal, with the exception of my little brother being 14 years younger then myself.

No one is ever online when I need inspiration, that sucks. *Sigh*

In other news: I’m on a Damien Rice kick…Dunno why…*shrugs*

Someone give me some good music suggestions. Music is part of my Muse, and I need some new stuff…really like emotional music…

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RIP Heath Ledger

January 23, 2008 at 8:05 am (Heath Ledger)

You know why this was so shocking? because its so GOD DAMNED RANDOM!! I know I didn’t know him personally or anything, but I feel like I grew up watching him, I mean I stayed home from school one day and watched an entire season of Roar on the SciFi channel once…My little brother is even sad, I remember dragging him to see A Knights Tale when it came out…man…how bizarre…. RIP dude. You will be missed. I feel SO badly for his daughter, thats tragic. Truly tragic. 

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Home for the holidays!

December 16, 2007 at 2:48 am (Alvin and the chipmunks, Christmas, Fiction Plane, Joe Sumner)

WOO.Thats really all I have to say, it feels good (Read: Slightly odd) to be home, I miss everyone allot. I went to visit my high school and was almost insantly tackled by several different theatre kids, which felt good. Its good to know I’m missed. *shrugs* I’m watching Sean tomorrow, I think we’re going to go see Alvin and the Chipmunks, which looks quite cute. I’m excited to see it. I ❤ the chipmunks. I went to go see Fiction Plane again last week, my band obsession is now full fledged. Joe Sumner may just be the coolest person in the history of the world, AND he remembers who I am. Awesome right? I hope they come back around ohio/indiana sometime soon (Read: Within the next year PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!)Ummmmm, CHRISTMAS IS SOON! YAAAAY. I love christmas. Snow is pretty, buuut not pretty enough to make the fact that its cold okay. Oh well… LATER ALL!  

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*Sigh* Photoshop…

November 30, 2007 at 3:56 am (Angelina Jolie, college, computers, Concerts, Driving, Fiction Plane, Joe Sumner, life, music, teenagers, Weight loss)

So I’m working on a photoshop presentation for English class. Not my favorite thing to do, I’d rather write paper any day. Its not that I don’t LIKE being creative, just not while using computers. I think technology hates me. Like ALLOT. I took a test online yesterday and the results never got sent in (YAY inquisit *rolls eyes*) THUS earning me a zero. Which make me UNBELIEVABLY happy let me tell you *Pushing the sarcasm button* *sigh*On the upside, Bon Jovi ROCKS and…so does Fiction Plane. I’m going to a Fiction Plane concert in C-bus next week, and I’m really excited. YAAAAAY Fiction Plane, AND They’re playing with Cold War Kids, which is awesome. All in all, I’m excited. Sure, I have to go to class the next morning, and I have to drive three hours to get to C-bus from here…but hey, I’m in college. I’m allowed to do stupid things THAT way in the future I can say “Yeah, this one time in college I drove three hours to se Fiction Plane when I had CLASS the next day…I ROCK…” My hallway is really loud…they’ve been screaming allot lately. Not sure why, I generally don’t ask. But it does get rather annoying at points.You know what else is annoying? Our elevators don’t work. Therefor I have to walk up 8 floors of stairs, like…all the time. And that sucks. I all ready lost 15 pounds! I don’t need to lose anymore!! Granted I may not be in shape but still…I think the fact that I now weigh like 125 pounds speaks for itself. I don’t need to weigh 120…or even 115. I’d look disgustingly thin and that just wouldn’t make me happy. I know hollywood seems to think that being able to see a persons bones is AMAZINGLY attractive, but really…its gross. Come on. Angelina Jolie’s arms…are disgusting. She may be pretty but her arms make me want to throw up. She needs to eat a damn cookie or something… that is all. Comment if you’d like! Later all!!! 

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So…Tis time for an update.

November 10, 2007 at 5:44 am (angst, Boys, life, love, Mental illness, Relationships)


So I need to update more often. Even though, I’m not too sure anyone reads these but whatever.

Everything with my boyfriend is all well and good. I mean…as well and good as it can be. He told me he loved me this week. I’m not exactly sure what to do. I mean…he’s my first boyfriend, we’ve only been dating for two months…I can’t say it yet. I hope he uderstands that. I mean…I’m damn sure he does, but at the same time I’d hate to dissapoint him in some way. I just….can’t. But he really is an awesome guy, he really cares about me and I like that. He bought me flowers just to make me smile…and it did.

In other less happy-ish news…my grandfather’s in the mental hospital. He got the flu awhile ago and I guess it started a landslide that ended in dementia. He can’t function anymore. He won’t drink, eat or even move on his own. They had him take a cognitive test of some point and he had to score a 7 to be allowed to be on his own…he scored a 4. He’s not even legally allowed to drive any more because he just can’t…function. He’s not even that old, and granted he’s unhealthy but still…the amount of time it took him to get this bad was astoundingly fast. I can’t even really stand talking to him anymore, he’s completely unaware of everything.

You know what the worst part of it is? I’m so SO afraid that the same things going to happen to my mom and then eventually me. I mean…it happened to my great grandmother, and its genetic right? I couldn’t stand to see my mom like that, it would kill me. And me personally? I’d rather be dead then be stuck in a nursing home from my 60’s on out. I hate seeing my grandfather like this. I hate it because I can’t do anything and I hate it because it seems like he doesn’t care…I just…hate it…I’m so afraid for him sometimes…



Someone tell me something good? Thank you…

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October 18, 2007 at 8:17 pm (angst, Boys, college, life, love, teenagers)

I havn’t updated in quite a long time…sorry all!

So I’m going home this weekend!! YAY!!! ^_^ I havn’t been home in quite a long time…two months to be exact. I’m excited to see everyone.

Lots of stuff has happened since I last updated. I have a boyfriend now. He’s 25, and the sweetest guy ever. I like him allot, I wish he’d let me pay for stuff sometimes, cus I feel bad that he always pays…but thats something I’ll just have to keep working on.

He’s 6 years older then me…its a little hard to handle at times. Most of the time it doesn’t matter at all. I’m mature and he’s very careful around me…but sometimes I do sorta wish I was going out with someone my own age. Not enough to leave my relationship behind, I mean I REALLY like him and he really likes me and thats all that matters…its just weird sometimes…you know?

Boy called me today. I havn’t actually SPOKEN to him in like 5 months. SUre we talked over AIM, but it was weird to hear his voice. He called completely at random to. We’re gona hang out this weekend I think, hopefully it won’t cause to much angst…I’m commited to my boyfriend and now he has a girlfriend so we should be okay…but still…he’ll always ALWAYS be the boy that could have been…which is difficult. I mean I guess I still like him…thats a lie I DO still like him, but I’ve got to come to grips with the fact that we’ll never ever be together.

I’ve moved on. I’ve got a boyfriend now who I adore and who adores me. Thats all I need.

Its just weird he called me…


yay for angst.

I should finish packing so I can go home…Talk to ya’ll later and I’ll let you know what went on this weekend. yupyup!!


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Surefire ways to make yourself feel sick…

September 15, 2007 at 5:32 pm (coffee, college, life, teenagers)

Surefire ways to make yourself feel sick…and several other things I’ve learned…

1. stay up til 4am repeatedly when you KNOW you have to get up at 8:00

2. Stay up til 3am, get up at 8am…chug two starbucks double shots befor English class…and then not eat anything til like 1:00…

3. Chug a thing of milk befor English class…

4. Cleaning apparently…I cleaned yesterday and all it got me was a stuffed up nose…damn dust. Either I should give up or clean more often…dunno which I’d rather do. Clean more often I think…

…I’m sure there are more ways, I just havn’t done anything else to abuse myself by accident yet…

You know what else I learned…always have your umbrella…cus the ONE time you don’t have it with you…it will inevitably pour.

OH! and…try not to leave your shoes in random classrooms…it makes life difficult…

Annnnnd the best music to listen to if you wanna wake up is Mika. Not Breaking Benjamin…although they rock…

You know whats weird…I drank two double shot espresso things this morning…didn’t feel the slightest bit more energized. I’m worried that I’m just immune to caffein at this point…and if coffee won’t wake me up, what in the hell am I supposed to do? Grawr.

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August 24, 2007 at 12:57 am (college, life)

So, I can feel myself slipping into the “I’m so awkward no one likes me…” thing all over again. I go through this every year, its just bad cus at the moment I only really have like 2 friends here.

I mean I talk to the theatre people but its like…I’m not one of them. They hang out in groups and stuff and I sit in my dorm room, unsure of what to do because I’m shy, and awkward and not as atractive as the rest of them.

It sucks, because I don’t want to be so down on myself, I want to be liked so badly but…hrmp. This is really hard to describe. I want to make friends I jsut don’t know how.


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